Youthfulness appears to leave me
While sheer loneliness deceives me.
Would have me believe no one cares.
It’s true no paramour is there.
And yet, I’ve friends of which to speak,
But their devotion must I seek
For assurance in my despair.
T’would be my proof that someone cares.
At last I hear a friendly knock,
My chamber door’s the only block
Between myself and peace of mind
(If it, in truth, is someone kind).
I raise the latch, Oh! my despair!
As of before, there’s no one there.
‘Neath the mantle the fire is bright,
Again I rest amidst warm light.
It’s warmth is nice and yet I crave
To be removed from mood so grave.
I, abhorring such single plight,
Am often feared of solo nights.
Unrare, the silence shouts to me,
“Remove yourself and be set free
From evil and unloyal friends
Who leave you to this dreadful end.
Dared life its goodly measure match,
‘Twould from your heart paean songs dispatch!”
And yet I strive to pull away,
I long to see another day.
When friends have gone and darkness falls
I can’t resist the voice that calls.
I have in dreadful seclusion
An unbearable delusion.
I’m all alone at ending time
To be cut down at early prime.
Accord with life, which now I lack,
Leaves apathy my mind to rack.
Soon Fate shall want its payment paid
For which my life was only made.
I’m unsure of another dawn
Because from mankind I’ve withdrawn.
A seed so lonely entered me
That through illogic fear I see.
The growth brings unjust invasion
And prods with gentle persuasion.
Former friends, I believe, are gone.
No longer I crave another dawn.
The oleander’s taste is sweet
When taken for some goal to meet.
More dread to live than fear to go.
Alone in life… I won’t have it so!
I wrote this poem when I was in High School and I heard about the alleged suicide of Inger Stevens. She was beautiful, talented and successful. But reports said she was lonely and, being without friends, she gave up on life and overdosed on drugs and alcohol.
At the time, I couldn’t understand why she had no friends. Now, of course, I’ve come to understand that genuine friendships are not that easy to come by– even for average people– but especially for the rich and famous. It’s nearly impossible for them to trust that someone wants to know them for who they are and not for what can be gained by a relationship with them.
I was moved by her death and wrote this poem to express its impact on me.
I do not approve of suicide or think it is a solution to any problem. Everyone suffers from loneliness at times and we all needs friends but checking out on life is not the right option.
It was God, in the beginning, Who said,“It’s not good for the man to be alone.” And it was God Who created Eve to help dispel Adam’s loneliness with her companionship and the children she bore him. The family brought community into the world so that none of us would have to be perpetually alone.
But aloneness and loneliness still affect individuals today. And, I believe a relationship with Jesus Christ is the real solution because He is the only One Who can be there for us in every situation of life.
He is “a friend that sticks closer than a brother.” He is a “very present help in the time of trouble.” He is “the lily of the valley and the bright and morning star.” He will “never leave you or forsake you.” There is no place so low He can’t reach you, and there is no place so dark He can’t find you. And, best of all, He always has time for you!
I wish Inger Stevens had known Him. Her loss of life was a tragedy; but then, the needless loss of any human life is a tragedy. Jesus came to the earth and died for us that we might have life as stated in John 3:16.
For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believes in Him might not perish but have everlasting life.
If you are lonely and you haven’t trusted in Jesus Christ, I pray that you will. And then, you should connect with a group of believers. Don’t suffer silently when your needs can be met and you can meet the needs of others. After all, you aren’t the only one who is lonely. Someone needs you in their life before they decide they can’t take it any more.