Why is it that you’ve closed your heart to mine?
I’m your friend and friendship lasts beyond all time.
God’s Word says we should not forsake a friend.
It seems that means we stick together past the end.
I’ll not turn away–for my soul could never leave you.
‘Twould break my heart to know I ever grieved you.
My love is deep–so deep that even I can’t see
The measure of the depth at which it flows in me.
I only know through joy or pain it always grows.
And I won’t ever make the choice to let it go.
If you choose to walk away my heart goes too,
For it knows not how to be untrue to you.
Cheryl S. Justice
At the time that I wrote this poem, I meant every word and every line and was convinced that it was as it should be. Having a naturally loyal nature strengthened by an idealized idea of what the Bible teaches on the subject, it seemed only right to me to remain faithful in all circumstances. I believed in the “never forsake a friend” proverb without realizing one must “have a friend” to “forsake a friend.”
In other words, I wasn’t very discriminating in my choice of friends– even though another proverb says to choose one’s friends wisely. When it came to choosing my friends, I guess I let them choose me or I was simply naive, assuming others were as sincere as I was.
At any rate, I’m sharing this because I’ve learned a few things. One thing that’s really important is choosing friends wisely and committing the heart only to those who are worthy of one’s commitment.
That reminds me of the song I listened to as a teenager, Take Time to Know Her by Steve Davis, sung by Percy Sledge. You remember? The song says, “Take time to know her, it’s not an over night thing. Take time to know her. Son, don’t rush into this thing.” Now, that was speaking of love and marriage, but close friendships gone bad can devastate one’s heart nearly as deeply as a bad marriage. Pain is pain. Deep disappointment is deep!
I just want to encourage you today. If you’ve been through or are going through a painful break in any type of heart relationship, the pain eventually passes and life goes on. I think the amount of time it takes to recover may be related to how long we take to face reality and let go of relationships that aren’t good for us.
No one can walk in your shoes or make your decisions. Only you can make the choice to look more closely at what’s going on in your relationship and decide if it is based on love or on something else. Misplaced loyalty is not required. Don’t beat yourself up.
When you find true friends, by all means be faithful and true. Whether it’s your spouse or same gender relationships, other than God, nothing compares to the value of true friends.
If you have thoughts or experiences to share, I’m interested in hearing from you.